Wedding Ceremony Seating: Sides, Reserved Rows and Who Sits Where

Reserve the first two rows on each side for family, leave everything behind them open, and put one person at the aisle to point guests to a seat. The rest of this page is who goes in those rows, which side is which, and the wording for the sign.

Which side is which

Facing the front, with the aisle behind you:

• Christian and secular ceremonies: the bride's family sits on the left, the groom's on the right. The groom stands on the right at the altar, so his family sits there too.
• Jewish ceremonies: reversed. The bride's family sits on the right and the groom's on the left, because the bride stands on the groom's right under the chuppah.
• Other traditions have their own seating customs, and many do not divide guests by family at all. Ask your officiant or a family elder what is expected before you print anything.
• Same-sex couples: there is no tradition to follow, so split by family (each partner's family on one side, decided by coin toss or by whichever room is closer to their parents) or skip sides altogether.

If your ceremony is outdoors with a curved layout, use "the side nearest the groom" and "the side nearest the bride" on the sign, not left or right, which flip depending on where each guest enters.

Who sits in rows 1 and 2

Rows are counted from the front. Row 1 is the closest and is for the people the photographs are of.

Three rules cover the awkward cases.

1. Divorced parents sit in row 1 on the same side, each with their own partner, with a seat in between or a row apart if they cannot sit near each other. Do not put a stepparent in row 2 behind a birth parent without telling both. How to word that conversation is in seating divorced parents.
2. Grandparents go in row 1 or 2, always on the aisle, so they can leave if they need a break and everyone sees them. If a grandparent uses a walker, give them the aisle end of row 1 and put the companion beside them.
3. Siblings who are in the wedding party don't need seats, because they are standing up front. Siblings who are not in it sit in row 2.

Count before reserving. Two parents, two stepparents, two or three grandparents and a couple of siblings is 8 to 10 seats per side: two rows of 5 chairs. If one side has 14 close family members, reserve three rows of 5. Do not reserve a row you will not fill, because empty reserved chairs make a small ceremony look thin in photos.

The "choose a seat, not a side" sign

If your guest count is lopsided, or you simply do not want families split, put a sign at the entrance and sample wording like this:

Choose a seat, not a side. We are all one family today. The first two rows are reserved for our families, but sit anywhere behind them.

A warmer version for a casual ceremony:

Pick a seat, not a side. You came for one of us, and you are now a friend of both, so sit wherever you like.

Mount the sign on an easel at the point where guests choose a direction, not at the end of the aisle, where nobody reads it. Add a line on the reserved chairs themselves:

Reserved for family

Tie a ribbon or a small card to the aisle chair of each reserved row. A printed card on every chair is clearer, but a ribbon at the end only is cheaper and reads from the back.

What ushers do

Brief two or three ushers, usually the groomsmen or friends. Give them a printed list of who sits in the reserved rows, and a script like this:

Welcome. Are you family of the bride or the groom, or are you a friend? I'll take you to a seat.

• Ask each arriving guest which side they are on, and walk them to a seat with a hand out on the aisle. Do not point and leave.
• Seat guests from the front, filling the rows behind the reserved ones first, so there are not empty rows at the front.
• Offer an arm to older guests, and bring them to the aisle chair of their row.
• Stop seating guests five minutes before the start, and save the aisle end of row 1 for the last arrivals (the parents), who walk in after everyone else.

With 60 guests or fewer you can drop ushers and use the sign alone. Above 100, use three.

Mistakes that show in the photographs

• Reserving too many rows. A row of reserved chairs with two people in it looks like an empty room.
• Forgetting the aisle. Leave at least 36 in (91 cm) clear so a long dress or a wheelchair gets through; keep chair rows from creeping into it as guests shift.
• Not telling the parents which row. Tell both sets of parents in writing, with the row and seat, a week before the day.
• Splitting sides when most guests belong to one side. Photographs from the front show a full left and an empty right.

If you are laying out the ceremony chairs before the reception tables, the wedding seating chart maker can draw rows of chairs with an aisle between them. The reception is a separate job: assigned vs open seating covers when each fits.